These scribbled thoughts are divided into two parts. First part are my thoughts before I read the book Krishna and the next part is after I completed reading the book.
Before Reading
14th December, 2020
When I was purchasing Bhagvad Gita through Amazon, I came across another book there in the suggestions - कृष्ण.
Since the time I completed reading Bhagvad Gita, I had this thought back of my mind that I want to read Krishna. My urge to get this book became stronger as days passed.
One of our neighbours Subrat Panda, who is one of the devotees of Shri Krishna and associated with ISKCON had visited us last year and suggested us to buy / read Bhagvad Gita. It was a different time and I was not convinced with the ideology of ISKCON, little did I understand that it wasn't ideology of ISKCON but Bhagvad Gita itself. Subrat being devotee, works for ISKCON on weekends and even on weekdays many times. He is a preacher of philosophy of Bhagvad Gita and used to go to sell the Bhagvad Gita before Corona situation.
On 9th December, 2020, Subrat had posted regarding Bhagvad Gita and other books available for sale with him on whatsapp group of our society. I noticed that "कृष्ण" is also one of those books.
On 11th December, 2020, while returning from airport after I met Mr Virendra Tank and collected painting, I picked Aakanksha and Ayaansh from Aakanksha's clinic. While driving back I expressed my wish to get that book to Aakanksha and also mentioned about Subrat posting about it.
Not sure why I wasn't approaching Subrat but then I went to Amazon next day and searched for the same book. This time I couldn't find the Marathi copy I was looking for and I closed the app with disappointment.
Again, it was back of my mind that I have to check with Subrat if he could help me get the Marathi copy of that book.
On 13th December, I suddenly received a call from Subrat. He wanted my help with some excel sheet related operations where he wanted to manage info on distribution of Bhagvad Gita and other books. He told that they have 15,000 copies of these books which they are planning to sell in next 2 months. He also needed help to understand how social media or any other digital platforms can be used to spread the word or preach ideology of Bhagvad Gita and sell the books. I responded saying, I'll try to help with whatever knowledge I have or whatever I can figure out.
Immediately I expressed my wish to get the copy of " कृष्ण" . He agreed to get Marathi copy in next couple of days. He didn't forget to mention the significance of the book, that this book represents 10th canto of Srimad Bhagavatam.
The only thought that came to my mind immediately was, as I was delaying / forgetting getting in touch with Subrat, finally He Himself made sure I don't delay it further.
This whole episode made me even more excited to start reading - Krishna !
After Reading
27th January 2021
I think I'm in love ! Again !
When I was reading Bhagvad Gita with curiosity and I was keen to learn words of wisdom by Shri Krishna and Arjuna. There were multiple instances when I was wondering how can one just fall in love with Shri Krishna ?
Shri Krishna mentioned this multiple times that Bhakti Yoga ( "भक्तीयोग" ) is the only supreme way of living this life and dedicating it to divine himself.
But how can one just force himself to praise Him, love Him ?
You can't fall in love with someone forcefully. It just happens. Unknowingly. You daydream about your love unknowingly. You can't stop thinking about your love. You have this strong desire to spend rest of your life with the one you love. That thought of not being with your loved one makes you sad. Presence of your loved one being there around you put a smile on your face and butterflies in your stomach. You don't want to miss any opportunity to impress the one you love with loving gesture. Most importantly, you don't want any of it to fade away with time !
This is what is my basic understanding of feeling of love is and personal experience as well !
Lot of people just love the idea of love and many of them fail miserably chasing that mirage! Falling in love and falling in an idea of the love are two different things. So all said and done, whatever my philosophy of love is, it made me wonder about an idea of falling in love with the Shri Krishna.
When I see people worship any God, I am not sure whether it is with some motive or expectations or they just love the God and if they love the God how exactly one can describe it ?
On 8th January, 2021 I completed reading Krishna and I think I have got few answers to my anxious mind full of questions and confusions.
Short summary of the book as given on the official website-
Kṛṣṇa, The Supreme Personality of Godhead tells the story of Krishna's life from Srimad-Bhagavatam,the summit of the ancient Vedas.
This book is presented as a collection of beautiful readable short-stories and illustrations. It forms a biography of the life of Krishna, who was present in India five thousand years ago.
The stories develop from Krishna's birth to His childhood and youth. Krishna plays with His friends in the forest while looking after the cows and calves and incidentally He kills so many demons. On some full-moon nights He dances with Radha and His beautiful gopis in the rasa lila.
Now, the moment I start speaking about Shri Krishna, I feel overwhelmed. It happened on multiple occasions. Some of my experiences after completed reading Bhagvad Gita and Krishna I have scribbled down here -
Experience 1
1st time when I met Mr Virendra Tank (artist of Shri Krishna - Arjuna painting we have at our home ) and we started talking about Shri Krishna over our meal. I asked him if he believes in him and he responded saying whatever knowledge he has got is through books of Osho.
Post that I mentioned him things that I visualise or imagine or see things about Shri Krishna. I had not mentioned this to anyone before but I felt I should tell him. Maybe because as an artist he will be able to visualise what I'm saying.
So here I'm going to describe what I see -
Sometimes it's a day, sometimes it's a night. It's a place full of greenery with a tall strong tree near the edge of the river. On the other side of the river there is a small village.
When it's a day, sun rises from right side of this river. Shri Krishna is standing near a tree, in his unique pose and playing flute. Birds are waking up and chirping listening to the melodious flute. Every single living organism is mesmerised. (While I write this, I can hear tune in my head.) While he is just holding the flute, it's the Maa Saraswati sitting at the edge of the flute. Even the wind is flowing soft on the tune of his flute. There can't be more pleasant view or a moment than this. It feels like this moment should never last. It's the most peaceful or happiest moment one can ever have.
When I told the same to Aakanksha on the same day in the evening, tears started rolling down from eyes and I was overwhelmed. I don't know why!
When it's a night, it's a same place. Dim twinkling lights can be seen in the village across the river. Fog and smoke covering the the view between both sides of the river. There is a swing hanging from the branch of the tree. Rope of swing are covered with flower. It's Shri Krishna and Radha sitting on the swing facing the river. Radha is leaned on his shoulder while he is playing soft soothing flute putting everyone else to sleep. It's a biggest full moon in the sky on left hiding behind the tree and sky is full of stars and constellations are rotating as night passes.
After I was done telling him this, he smiled and said you are completely lost in him. Do you write this ? You should write. And if you can make painting you should try to convert your visualisations into painting / drawing.
As I write this blog post today, I think it was a message that was being conveyed to me by Shri Krishna !
Experience 2
One day I slept while my headphones were still on my head and while listening to Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna hare hare hare Rama hare Rama Rama Rama hare hare. Around 01:00 am I woke up from sleep because of loud sound of conch shell (शंखनाद) in my ears, like an alarm followed by a song -
I was extremely overwhelmed and tears dropped from eyes as the song continued. I didn't want that song to stop playing. I could see Shri Krishna in different forms, including the one with Arjuna in the painting on our wall. This went on for 40-45 mins and I went back to sleep.
Next day morning when I was telling Aakanksha how I woke up in the middle of the night and about the song, I was overwhelmed again. Not with teary eyes this time though because I controlled my emotions.
This has been my favourite devotional song of Shri Krishna as of today !
But with all the recent experiences I started understanding Bhakti Yoga ( भक्तीयोग ) more. I realised that I'm able to connect with my ideology of love and Shri Krishna and falling in love with the divine Himself.
After I spoke to Aakanksha in the morning, suddenly I had this strong urge of searching for a tattoo of श्रीकृष्ण and immediately searched for it too. The first thought after looking at this one was, this is exactly what I wanted !
My philosophy regarding the getting tattoo done I have scribbled down in my blog post - Tattoo
Finally on 14th January, 2021 I got it done !
Shri Krishna says in Bhagvad Gita Chapter 10, Verse 8 -
अहं सर्वस्य प्रभवो मत्त: सर्वं प्रवर्तते । इति मत्वा भजन्ते मां बुधा भावसमन्विता: ॥ ८ ॥
ahaṁ sarvasya prabhavo mattaḥ sarvaṁ pravartate iti matvā bhajante māṁ budhā bhāva-samanvitāḥ
Translation :
I am the source of all spiritual and material worlds. Everything emanates from Me. The wise who perfectly know this engage in My devotional service and worship Me with all their hearts.
हरे कृष्ण हरे कृष्ण कृष्ण कृष्ण हरे हरे |
हरे राम हरे राम राम राम हरे हरे ||
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